"I would stare at the grains of light suspended in that silent space, struggling to see into my own heart. What did I want? And what did others want from me? But I could never find the answers. Sometimes I would reach out and try to grasp the grains of light, but my fingers touched nothing."

True Story!

Torn

No thank you... no good night... first thing you're worried about is me sending you up. Yet I got so worried to even beat a red light and arrived trembling... Why... what for...?

Strange & Beautiful; Broken Spell

Strange & Beautiful

I'm tired of trying...

I'm tired of believing...

I'm tired of feeling unappreciated...

When I didn't bother because I hated life, I got put down

When I tried, it's just facade.

Yes, the sadness in my eyes are gone. But now it's just emptiness.

Once I make it big... prepare to suffer. All of you better pray I fail in life.

Looking back at the things I wrote here... All I ever wanted is to share me joy with someone. It's so easy to say "live for yourself". It's merely an escape, to abscond from all ties. I'd love to see how an asexual community strive. Insignificant blob of amoebas! I've been searching for a meaning to life way before most people of my age even had their first taste of detachment. Wanting to kill myself and wishing I was dead at a mere age of 7 seems like a joke? So don't tell me how to live to my life and on the other hand telling me I should be myself.

So I may have fallen during a leap of faith but as Amy Laura Hall put it, one can live meaningfully (free of despair and anxiety) in an unconditional commitment to something finite, and devotes that meaningful life to the commitment, despite the vulnerability inherent to doing so.

I loved you for who you are. I accepted everything because it was unconditional. But you all just left... Honestly, was I ever loved for who I am?

*Poof*

!!!!

!!!

Feed Me Yong Tau Foo

Not again!

Just when I thought of magnetic bearing... I found out someone else already did in 1941...
Same goes for KERS.......
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We don't learn enough in school to know what's already been invented!

We're all so caught up in the rat race to have a gap year... experience life... bet most locals never heard about it anyway and what awaits them... it's all about money, social status....... lalalalalalalalala

I don't belong in this world perhaps.
My point is, it's not all about money so that you can live a life of luxury. Being high up there to look down on others.
Use the money for a meaningful life. Be up there in a position where you're respected, and use it to influence others and live as one.
NOT bum around and do not have a care in the world like a hippy.
How often do we hear from our teachers, parents, etc whenever we fail in school, that we're useless beings with no future. That we'll be stuck in an perpetual struggle to survive. That alone will subconsciously nurse self-centeredness into our mind. And the competition begins...
Even compulsory community service... it's all for the grades.
I really don't belong...

Bottom line - Work even harder to make a change for everyone. Sacrifice your time to see how screwed up the world really is.

Still irritates you now? =)

Being Calvin

I'll never figure out why Clar called me fat last time...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Calvin & Hobbes... Shaped By Them!

Random thoughts

- Nostalgia : When was your virgin experience with it? The day we start feeling old?

- Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all : Believe in it and Nirvana will take a few more cycles to achieve! Otherwise prove Maslow wrong...

Elaborate more when I have the time...

And how dimwitted I can be... setting a tree on fire... before these memories get replaced by integrations and differentiations

Run, Quan Run!!!

Shall Decide Again In 2 Months' Time...

Join Me!

- Boon

- Clar

- Nana

- YOU!!!

BBC!

There's something peculiar about her...

...We're lacking weirdos in Singapore!!

oooohhhh... that's right... right thereeeee!! yeah!!! uh huh... like that... woooo!!! awesome!! this feels so good! yeah!! right thereeee keeep doing that!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha pretty woman wan lou chan?

p.s. She's quite an inspiration figure, if anyone's interested at all... Click Here!

The path she chose and perception on life is quite admirable.

=)

All my life I've been such a fool for love. I still believe in it.

Time to come out and play?

I Don't Want To Lie...

One cold autumn night, you're walking in the park.

You saw the most mesmerizing rose in your life.

It was engulfed in frost, frozen in a facade.

The crystalline exterior sparkled under the crescent moon.

You pondered.

Unknowingly, your hand is outstretched.

Eventually you grasped the stalk in your palm.

The warmth you provided brings you closer to the core.

In such dire state, the flower needs all the tenderness,

akin to how you need such a delightful blossom for the night.

Drop by drop, the blanketing glaze runs down the stem.

Just when you feel you've had it, you tightened your fist.

The melting ice turned red.

It didn't bother you somehow.

The adrenalin from such a heavenly sight must masked the pain.

With the thorns embedded, you couldn't let go.

There you are, feeling nothing, setting your eyes in the petals.

Each petal portrays a beauty of it own,

radiating from the center to form the definition allure.

You grew accustomed to the pain, if there ever was any.

Releasing it will definitely be painful.

Was the rose suffocating in your hands?

It will die off if you had pulled it out...

Absence? Fonder? Subside, Please...

Dear Lara,

were you trying to hint something when I first heard this song? I must be too into you to notice it. Haha...

Dear Joanna Wang,

giving up, why should I, you may ask? I don't control the world. There's no reason to stop, except the implications I could create. Don't be selfish. Think of others.

It was beautiful. But something's gotta give.

被爱的人不用道歉 7 12 11 9

Even Leo Cries...

1998. I was supposed to be meeting you at Sentosa. Someone I've never met. I can't even remember your name now. We were to catch the leonids shower.

Once I got there, my phone failed on me. Infact, the entire mobile network was down. I managed to get you on a public phone, but there was no way for me to identify you in the crowd.

So I strolled around, caught nothing in the sky and went home. It was as packed as Zouk Out, but no cab! Argh... Walked all the way out from the beach till somewhere along Alexandar... What a night... lonely night.

So... anyone wants to gaze at the sky with me this time round??

Yeah!!

Came With Nothing. I Have Nothing. Leave With Nothing.

What's The Point?

And Screw This Picture For Not Fitting In!
edit: lousy mac

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Hope This Will Get Me Through

I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

No more waiting, No more aching
No more fighting, No more trying

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

Love me..

Why does it say Love Me at the end? Not so easy after all...